“Words”

Laura Clayton, January 2016

Oh words, let me bend you, and oh phrases let me mend you.

I long to make you say what I feel- It’s as if I’m trapped inside your meaning.

If I were to punctuate the sentences I penned you into, it wouldn’t satisfy.

Questions, exclamations, and long pauses would smudge together and end some lines of my life.

Oh words, let me tell you of the questions; reassure you of the worries in my pages.

I ache to know their answers, and escape my question marks.

If I were to tell you of all the questions, it would only tire you.

Questions could fill every page and end every sentence, but oh how they could not contain the depth of the story.

Oh words, let me delight you, oh lines let me invite you.

I long to tell you of the exclamations found in the careful arrangement and pattern of your words.

If I were to describe the value of the joy I have found in words, no sum could do it justice.

Many exclamations would be present, inked skillfully between thoughts, but each one would exist because of one Word.

Oh words, let me warn you of the pauses and breaks in my pages.

I hope to convince you of their purpose, for I fear you’ll only find them pointless.

If I were to go on about them, I think it still wouldn’t do, for you haven’t read them.

Long pauses lie in some of my greatest lines, pleading with me to rest and trust-only heaven knows what’s coming next.

Oh words, let me bend you, and oh phrases let me mend you.

I long to make you say what I feel- It’s as if I’m trapped inside your meaning…

 

 

 

 

 

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Mistakes

Life is not about NOT making mistakes.”                                            

I love growing up with older brothers. They say things sometimes that are so simple, yet very profound. In between shooting me with rubber bands, throwing me over their shoulder, asking me girl questions, endless teasing, and making me laugh ‘till my sides hurt, they say things that quite honestly shake me up. When chocolate doesn’t fix the issue, and duct tape isn’t strong enough to mend the tare, guys can say some pretty cool things. The truth is, they have shown me that God fearing men speak truth into chaos even when it’s difficult. Those men are game changers. One of the things that my brother said to me recently hit me like that.

He said life is not about avoiding mistakes. Otherwise, we wouldn’t need Jesus. As funny as it might sound, it felt like a heavy brick was unloaded from the backpack of “good behavior” I carry around. Wait. Did he just tell me I was free to make mistakes? Yeah, I think he did. Did he just tell me I had a license to go wild and crazy? If you knew my brother the answer would be an immediate, NO.  I think what He was trying to point out to me first of all, is that my right standing before God and His love for me is not a product of my good decisions and behavior. It is because of Christ alone that I stand justified before God.  Second, I think his comment exposed a skewed emphasis and priority. If I am striving to chase after Jesus, and looking to Him to be my Lord, my Love, and my Righteousness, there isn’t a huge chance that I will jump off the deep end right away. When my eyes are fixed on Jesus, my will begins to align with His. And making decisions becomes about what will help me honor the Lord. Not about what will keep me from making a mistake, failing, or loosing approval. Lastly, one of the most comforting things to me is that even if I do sin or make a bad decision, it will be okay. To be broken and make mistakes is to be human. And nothing is wasted with God. He redeems. Just like a loving Father, He picks me up when I fall and doesn’t keep a record of my wrongs.

Thank the Lord for His truth and promises! Thank the Lord for giving me the siblings He did. The amazing thing is many ways they have been able to encourage me have been because of mistakes. They make mistakes too. They learn from them, repent, grow, and God works through them in some pretty mighty ways!

I think I’m beginning to be more and more thankful for the “tares” duct tape can’t fix in my life.

Enjoy your journey…even the mistakes.

Laura

 

“I have made mistakes, I continue to make them
The promises I’ve made, I continue to break them
And all the doubts I’ve faced, I continue to face them
But nothing is a waste if you learn from it

And the sun, it does not cause us to grow
It is the rain that will strengthen your soul
And it will make you whole”

“I have made mistakes”-The Oh Hellos

Constant

“Though I’m prone to leave Your side
You chase me like the tide

You are constant in my wandering
You are brighter than the dark in me
You are the love that sets me free
You are faithful, You are faithful, You are

Ever waiting for the weary
Ever wanting them to see
There’s ransom, there’s forgiveness
Your hope is all around me” Crowder- “You Are”

These lyrics hit me last night. “You are constant in my wandering, You are brighter than the dark in me”

Honestly, last week was a tough one for me. I felt like I was stressed and distracted and behind the whole week. I never quite felt like I could be still before the Lord and refocus well before the next distraction would come up. I was short with those around me, and I tore myself down because I couldn’t seem to get my imperfections together. How completely human does that sound? Why do I place my anchor on things, people, emotions, or circumstances-things as fleeting as my next breath?  How comforting it is to turn to a God that doesn’t view me or my circumstances the way I do.

I went on a walk on Tuesday after school and did some thinking. But before I left my driveway I noticed how striking the sun was from where I was standing. As I walked on, I just kept noticing it. It was glorious, bright, and warm. And it seemed everywhere I turned there it was at my side, warming my back, or going before me to light the way. Just as creation often does when we’ll let it, it drew my mind to my Savoir. It is hard to even begin to grasp the depth of who He is. He is more glorious, more radiant, and more constant than the sun could ever hope to be. And the same ONE wants my heart-and yours. Wow.

Now, I am still broken, sinful, and fleshly. There are choices to be made, and I am called to pursue godliness, just like every believer, but let’s rest in His constant direction, love, and Lordship, and let Him continue His good work He began. Here’s to a brighter week!

Enjoy the journey,

Laura

 

Courage

It takes courage to grow up. It takes courage to be a woman.
Sometimes the thought of both realities that I am experiencing shakes me to the core. Because I’ve never known myself to have a lot of courage. It scares me to think of leaving old things behind and starting new ones I know nothing of. Learning to make wise decisions and developing the character to become who I want to be is overwhelming!
One thing I do know that delights my soul is that my Redeemer defined it. He thought of courage and character, and wisdom, and absolutely fulfilled it because it is part of Him. Because of Jesus, I’m now His daughter, and HE teaches me how to be all those things in Him. By His grace and for His glory I will grow to be like the woman I picture becoming. And more importantly, like the woman HE has designed for me to be. He has placed inside me the spirit of an overcomer. And because He’s faithful, He has never abandoned me, and I don’t imagine He ever will.
Thanks be to God!
But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;
-2 Corinthians 2
-Phillippians 1:6
-Hebrews 10:23